Candy War
by wingnutdawn
Summary: Albus decides to have a Candy War with Voldemort for Valentines Day. He got the idea from one of  Severus' sarcastic remarks


**Candy War**

Another day in the Great Hall started with students entering the Great Hall with intensively happy chattering and scurrying up and down the isles between the tables to wish each other Happy Valentines Day and giving each other little gifts. Or what Snape referred to as raucous noises by rowdy students.

His head was splitting from listening to the sickening greetings that he kept over-hearing. The Pink and Red decor with tiny candy hearts, tapered candles with Happy Valentines day printed on their side, Red roses with messages of love, singing lutes and sparky heart shaped confetti was enough in his opinion to knock the appetite out of anybody. The extremely large banner declaring the day didn't help matters any in his opinion either.

A small candy shaped like a heart was sitting beside Snape's plate with the cryptic message "Your the best'' He looked askance at the inoffensive looking piece of candy and flicked it away with a flick of his finger.

He glared at the Headmaster who smiled back at him innocently as he ignored the scowl that adorned the angry Potions Masters face.

"Now Severus it is Valentines Day and is a time to show somebody you care for them. Besides the candy is sweet with no offense intended." Another heart shaped candy with "Remember." written on it along with a chocolate marshmallow heart appeared beside Severus ' breakfast plate.

"I think you should keep those insipid candy messages to yourself!" snarled the grumpy wizard whose name alone was enough to make students from the past and present shiver and occasionally wet themselves when confronted by him."Or better yet, If you really want to celebrate Valentine's Day with somebody... why not just have a Candy War with You Know Who and be done with it." He sneered sarcastically.

The Headmaster sighed and shook his head regretfully as he watched the younger wizard push his breakfast away, and leaving the hall swiftly .His trademark robes billowing behind his outraged form.

"Nice going Albus." Minerva McGonagall said after observing the scene. "You know he doesn't like Valentines day any more than he likes any other holiday."

"It's a great Idea Minerva." Beaming , Dumbledore's eyes lit up and twinkled, "I don't think anyone has ever given Voldemort anything on Valentines day to show him that somebody cares."

Minerva winced at hearing the name but still protested, "I don't think Severus meant for you to do so Albus." as the Headmaster stood up and hurried to his office where he took a collection of Candy hearts and spelled them with many silly endearments as he could think of.

**You are Sweet, I'm Sure, Got Love, my love, kiss me, sweetheart, call me. Thinking of you**

Voldemort was startled to see a candy heart materialize on the table beside him. It had 'Thinking of you' printed on it. Frowning he picked it up and threw it in the air before vanishing it with his wand.

Still another one appeared with 'You are loved' He vanished it as again, another one appeared with "got love?" printed on it. Glowering at it in puzzlement, he wondered where the nauseating muggle sweets were coming from.

As much as his familiar, The great snake, Nagina loved to stay close to him, the sugary scent was making her feel queasy and she took it into her head to slide outside to the graveyard nearby, with the excuse to hunt for some food. She slithered away to the far reaches of the property and hid herself from being struck by this strange bombardment.

Soon even more cascades of the brightly coloured candy with many different remarks such as "Happy Valentines day', "You should try'' " love instead of hate." "Sweet dreams' came flowing into Voldemorts abode, piling up on furniture and in piles on the floor. The more he banished them the faster they came.

A"Peace symbol" "I Love, so can You,, ''Kindness'', "Make Love not War'- Candy Heart messages, all pertaining to everything he didn't understand or care about! "thinking of you." "Think happy thoughts."

Voldemort was fuming as he couldn't get away from the increasing hordes of various hard candies, chocolate bonbons, marshmallow chocolate hearts, cinnamon Hearts, Red, White... Then the cards and flowers... Roses of all shades, some even with multicolored petals and that abominable four letter word... LOVE printed on them! He wondered where they were coming form when he thought in passing of one who might- Bellatrix! Could it be her who was sending him these as she was the only person he knew who showed a somewhat romantic interest in him! Who was he kidding. More like infatuation!

He glowered at some tiny cinnamon hearts dancing in a congo line as he did some thinking. No it couldn't be her. Like him Bellatrix didn't like anything to do with muggles and that included their candy!

He had to do something to stop the avalanche which was striking him and cluttering up his space. A box shaped bar of Chocolate exploded and shot up into the air releasing what looked to be an array of candy confetti which spelled out _"HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. _

The scent of candy and fragrance of those flowers which seemed to multiply even faster as he felt the strain from his frantic efforts to banish them enveloping his mind and magical core. How could he stop it. What was the counter Curse?

Volemort's voice was becoming hoarse besides feeling even more exhausted as time after time as he kept casting all the obliterating and banishing charms he could think of on short notice including.

"_**EVENESCO," **_He nearly got stuck by the arrow that a sneaky cupid shaped marshmallow with the realistic bow was aiming and shooting at him. He noticed several others sneaking up and yelled hoarsely one more time-** "**_**EVENESCO"**_

Finally he swore at himself for being so stupid and cast "_**PROTEGO" **_which caused the ever present candy, cards and flowers to bounce against a protective shield. paused to take a breather as even more Valentine Day goodies and mementos piled up around him. He then scowled as he instinctively ducked a particularly nauseatingly bright pink candy heart that—to his horror- hovered just outside the barrier and sang in a familiar voice, a sickeningly sweet ballad... From the Hippie days of the 1960's!

"DUMBLEDORE!" Voldemort spat angrily, Of course it had to be the muggle loving candy chomping wizard whose very existence was anathema to him. His red eyes glowed as he had an idea. It wasn't something he would normally think of or do... "Okay Dumbledore- I will play your game..for now." Voldemort shuddered as he frowned and glowered at the large inoffensive wall calender that showed the date, February 14th, and he would definitely need to find a large bottle of firewhiskey, anything to eradicate the memory of this sweet insipid day out of his mind afterwards.

**You are Sweet, I'm Sure, Got Love, my love, kiss me, sweetheart, call me. Thinking of you**

Dumbledore kept up cheerfully thinking up even more phrases to charm onto candy hearts when he ducked as a large box of chocolate frogs with hiccups and wrapped with a very large bow, decorated with cupids and Hearts struck the top of his head and bounced to his lap. Dumbledore rubbed the top of his head where the box had hit him and with a wry smile he commented to Minerva and Severus who had both entered the office at that moment to inform him that the students and staff where dodging all manner of candy and chocolate which was falling throughout the castle. The Weasley Twins couldn't be held responsible—this time, as they were being closely monitored by Professor Sprout for the day in detention.

Looking longingly at the doorway to his nice quiet quarters where he had a few potions simmering, Severus 'volunteered' albeit reluctantly- to go with Professor McGonagal to the Headmasters office and confront ... inform the elderly Wizard that this Valentines Day's celebrations were becoming a little out of hand.

"About time Tom responded. Now the fun can really begin." Albus thought a moment with a finger against his lips and then brightened as he created a line of cinnamon candy hearts dancing the can can and with a flick of his wand sent them on their way.

"A-l-b-u-s P-e-r-c-i-v-a-l W-u-l-f-r-i-c B-r-i-a-n D-u-m-b-l-e-d-o-r-e! WHAT ARE YE PLAYING AT?" Annoyed, Professor McGonagall drew his name out slowly even as her voice got louder. Albus winced at the increasing dangerous tone even as he replied... as innocently as he could as he fielded some chocolate candy that had appeared and exploded into bite sized confetti which splattered the walls and sparked some complaints of outrage from the paintings of past Headmasters and Headmistresses. This candy war was getting a little out of hand

"But Minerva... I'm only having a bit of fun with Tom. After all..." He turned twinkling baby blue eyes on his young Potions Master who had cast a muffling charm over himself to deaden the effects of the elderly Transfiguration and Deputy Headmistress' rising voice. "I got the idea from Severus.. Remember? And I quote, "If you really want to celebrate Valentine's Day with somebody... why not just have a Candy War with You Know Who and be done with it."

"Honestly Albus! You are one of the most Childish..." Scolded the elderly witch.

It was then, without warning that a large candy cauldron appeared overhead, tipped and poured sticky melted chocolate contents over the Headmaster's head, robes, desk and surrounding area. Not a drop landed on Professor McGonagall, who blinked in surprise. Her eyebrow rose slightly as she glanced back at her youngest colleague before turning back to scold Albus who was contemplating his next move even as his tongue thoughtfully licked the chocolate away from around his mouth after he scorgified most of it away from his clothes and desk. He sighed and said as he concocted another chocolate Valentines Day cupid to send on it's way. "Too bad you two wouldn't join us in the fun on this fine Valentines Day. It is only candy after all."

"Oh. For. The. Love. Of. Merlin! I hope you have a Happy Valentines Day playing this , this _game_ with Tom." She said as she threw up her hands . "I. Think. I. Will. Leave. Now!Before. I. say. something. I. Will. Surely. regret."

Severus ' own eyebrow rose slightly in response, as he had already whisked the wand he had held hidden in his hand back up his sleeve before either of them noticed and tutted. "Looks like you two are going to be at it for a while... so If you don't mind Headmaster, I would like to go back to my lab and finish my brewing and other projects." He backed his way to the door and then turned about and stalked out of the room after Minerva and down the stairway to the corridor with his robes billowing behind him.

Author's notes

I apologize for not Posting this by Valentines Day.

but my husband has spent the last week in hospital . No.. his kiidneys are fine. He has been off Dialasis for over a year and a half.

Now the doctors have fond that his lungs have been filling with food and drink and aspiration has led to pneumonia. On top of that, he has not eaten and only form of hydration is intravenous. Antibiotics are being given and surgery for a g-tube ASAP. Infections also in his leg. He has been severely halucinating...


End file.
